Time of death: 6:58 pm.
A six-week-long vigil over a one-gallon fish bowl ended earlier this week when Bubbles, our betta fish, finally passed away.
We had kind of been expecting it — but the little guy held on a long time with some kind of illness that made his body bend in the middle and float to one side. For weeks we watched a happy little fish who would greet us with fluttering fins at the side of his bowl become a fish we literally had to hand feed and prod to get him to move.
On Monday night, head down in his bright blue gravel, Bubbles took his last breath and joined all the other “good” fish of antiquity in — ahem — heaven.
(I know everyone has their own theology on pets in heaven, but when you’re faced with the grief of an 8-year-old, you’ve got to come up with something. And, somehow, believing her beloved fish entered the realm of golden coral and pearl-encrusted sea shells would make saying goodbye a little easier.)
But that’s exactly what we told our heartbroken daughter, who got the fish for her 8th birthday last March and who had been praying for days that God would either make Bubbles better or take him to heaven where he would be well again.
We thought a fish would be the perfect starter pet for Grace. Something small, easy and inexpensive to take care of, sure. But what her dad and I were really hoping for was a pet that wouldn’t be too hard to say goodbye to when that time came.
We were wrong.
In the few weeks before his death, it was quite obvious that saying “good-bye” was not going to be easy for our soft-hearted, sensitive, third grader.
So her dad and I had started weighing a variety of scenarios for what we both knew was inevitable:
• Scenario No. 1: Just flush Bubbles down the toilet, put the fish out of its misery and make the whole event very matter-of-fact. “She’ll get over it,” Chris said. (I understood the objective, but it was still a little too heartless — for the fish and our little girl.)
• Scenario No. 2: Flush Bubbles down the toilet during the school day and have a new, healthy “Bubbles” waiting in the tank when Grace got home from school. (Not a bad idea, I thought at first. It would definitely spare our daughter some pain and grief, but it wasn’t exactly honest, either.)
• Scenario No. 3: Let the fish die a natural death and walk through the sadness and grief of losing a beloved pet right along with her.
And that’s exactly what we did. Bubbles died. Grace cried. And we did our best to answer her “Whys?,” “How comes?” and “Now whats?”
But God answered her prayer that day. And, in the end, I think that was more comforting to her than knowing where he ended up.
I’m certain her faith won’t always come so easily. But maybe that’s why God gives us our children and pets (even as seemingly inconsequential as a fish) — to practice for the bigger losses in life, that are also inevitable.
Comments
We allow registered users to post comments on this Web site. To learn more about our posting policies please read our User Poster Agreement Policy.
Posted by Landa (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 9:53 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I didn't know that the Emporia Gazette was also the Walker family blog...
Posted by Steve_Corbin (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 11:37 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I enjoy Ms. Walkers little blogs, I sure hope you arn't being snarkey Landa?
If you were, oh well, count your lucky stars I don't own the paper.
Posted by madpoet (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 12:29 p.m. (Suggest removal)
It's a weekly editorial, it's not supposed to be news.
At least your betta died a natural death. We had to break it to our 4 year old that he killed his by putting stuff in his bowl when we weren't looking. The new betta tank is up out of reach now. And bettas do have personality. We have 2, a regular one and a crown one. They do the "feed me dance" every time I go up to their tank and flare their fins and show off. I think it's important that kids learn about death and loss with pets. I think it makes it easier when they have to deal with a human's death.
Posted by seriouslyfolks (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 1:27 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I had a fish that had a gambling problem. He borrowed some money from the wrong people(wink wink) and when he couldn't pay it back ............ well ............ let's just say, now he sleeps with the fishes.
R.
Posted by HenryVIII (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 2:24 p.m. (Suggest removal)
"But maybe that’s why God gives us our children and pets (even as seemingly inconsequential as a fish) — to practice for the bigger losses in life, that are also inevitable."
Or maybe "God" doesn't actually have a say in who or what dies or when it happens. Think about what you are saying...why does "God" HAVE to prepare us for the inevitable? Why is death inevitable? If God is truly all powerful and we are indeed created in his image, why do we die? Why do we have to eat to survive? Why do the faithful grow old and suffer painful medical conditions?
If I could snap my fingers and create a new life form, I would make it immortal so it would never have to suffer. There would be no war because you couldn't kill others. There'd be no little kids dying of hunger. There'd be no reason to work because you wouldn't need a roof over your head or food in your belly to exist. My new life form could travel through space without the need of a spaceship. I would come visit my life forms and their offspring so they’d know without a doubt where they came from. I wouldn’t demand any praise from them or for them to worship me, but I’d let them know everything I knew so they wouldn’t fight over whose theory of creation is correct. Man, I could have done such a better job if I were God...
If you daughter wants to know why her fish died, the answer is NOT “because it was God’s plan”. We, as an intelligent species, need to look deeper to find the REAL answers of how things came to be and why they are as they are. You CANNOT rely on a 2000 year-old book of folklore to give you the answers. People back then didn’t even know that stars were actually suns… Do you really expect them to know the meaning of life? Please…give me a break.
'enry
Posted by FarmRaised (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 2:36 p.m. (Suggest removal)
That’s blasphemous.
Posted by FarmRaised (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 2:56 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I was under the impression that the sun was a star.
Posted by HenryVIII (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 3:14 p.m. (Suggest removal)
FarmRaised,
Blasphemous to whom? Is everything we disagree on blasphemy? Is it only blasphemy when I say I don’t share your beliefs because there is no proof or tangible evidence (aside from a 2000 year-old story book) to support your crazy theories? I guess I’m a blasphemer then, but that doesn’t really mean anything to someone who doesn’t fear the wrath of God.
Thank you. You are correct. Our Sun is actually a star that we have named "the Sun". I did mix that up a bit, but I hope you got my point.
'enry
Posted by oh4theluvof (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 3:16 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Yes, indeed, very blasphemous. However, Henry is simply voicing the arguments of all unbelievers and since we are all born in the state of unbelief, they are the arguments of each of our hearts at one point or another.........even if as young children. It is my prayer that God will show Henry how much more powerful He is than even human "logic."
Ashley, I am compelled to warn you that the appeasing statement about fish heaven might come back and bite you when Grace's logic puts this death together with the sanctity of human life (souls) and animals slaughtered for meat. "Mommy, where do the slaughtered cows go? Do they go to heaven? Why is it okay to kill them for food if they have souls that go to heaven? Do only pet animals go to heaven? "
Hopefully she won't do this until she is old enough to understand appeasing children, but it has been known to happen much sooner. Good luck with it if it does.
Posted by historian1982 (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 3:25 p.m. (Suggest removal)
wow, leave it to the regular ya-hoos on here to take a perfectly well written editorial and start ripping on it from all ends, for no other reason than to see yourself posted on the gazette webpage....Ashley good editorial as always
Posted by HenryVIII (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 3:36 p.m. (Suggest removal)
oh4theluvof,
Very good point about how some animals theoretically go to heaven and not others. The newest episode of South Park addressed the issue of the Japanese killing dolphins and whales and how most Americans thought this was terrible. Throughout the show, the Japanese were shown brutally killing dolphins and whales to the disgust of the Americans. Apparently, according to the show, the Japanese were led to believe dolphins and whales were responsible for dropping the atomic bombs on them. That's why the Japanese swore to kill every last dolphin and whale as an act of revenge. At the end of the episode, the South Park gang convinced the Japanese that the atomic bombs weren't the work of dolphins and whales but of chickens and cows instead. This led to the closing scene of the show where the Japanese are shown brutally slaughtering chickens and cows. One of the South Park crews says something like, "Good, now they are normal like us."
My point is that we see killing chickens and cows as normal, but frown upon killing dolphins and whales because they seem more intelligent. This all goes back to the food chain and the survival of the fittest. We didn't get to where we are today by picking and choosing what we should and shouldn't kill for food. Humans are very opportunistic predators; if we have the ability to kill something for food, we are going to do it. That is what being at the top of the food chain is all about.
That being said, I’d be quite upset if anyone killed any of my pets for food. I also don’t think it’s usually necessary to kill some intelligent animals that exhibit human-like emotions and traits. (like whales, dolphins, monkeys, elephants, etc…) If, however, that is your only source of food, I can’t really blame you for eating them.
'enry
Posted by FarmRaised (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 4:03 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Henry,
In regards to your questions:
Blasphemous to whom? Is everything we disagree on blasphemy?
No. It's not even a matter of being in agreement.
From Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary:
Main Entry: blas·phe·my
Pronunciation: \ˈblas-fə-mē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural blas·phe·mies
Date: 13th century
1 a : the act of insulting or showing contempt or lack of reverence for God b : the act of claiming the attributes of deity
2 : irreverence toward something considered sacred or inviolable
Posted by FarmRaised (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 4:08 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I think a lot of the reason that whaling is looked down upon today is because it was being done to the point of extinction. Also, poaching of the elephant's for their tusks was bringing them to the point of extinction as well. They [elephants] weren't even being eaten; their carcasses were left to rot in the sun. I don't believe that any native tribes were persecuted for using them as an actual food source.
Posted by lifer (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 4:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Henry,
CHILL OUT! It's a simple story about a girl and her fish!! Don't ya think you are reading a wee bit too much into it??
Posted by HenryVIII (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 4:51 p.m. (Suggest removal)
FarmRaised,
So...you're upset because I am "insulting or showing contempt or lack of reverence" for a fictional being? It might be blasphemy to some die-hard comic book fans when I say I don't believe in Superman.
The second part of that definition is the key. "irreverence toward something considered sacred " I ask, considered sacred by whom? Some people might consider Superman sacred and believe he exists solely based on stories they have read. I don't consider God nor Superman sacred, so calling me a blasphemer doesn't really hurt my feelings.
I understand what you are saying about animals going extinct. What people don’t understand is that animals have been going extinct long before humans walked on this planet. Sometimes I think we should just let natural selection take its course. Suppose the whales do go extinct…this might create a void for some new creature to evolve and come to be. Imagine what wondrous creatures (with harpoon-proof hides, perhaps) might appear if we let the whales go extinct? I don’t agree with that; just playing the devil’s advocate.
'enry
Posted by HenryVIII (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 5 p.m. (Suggest removal)
lifer,
I suppose you're right... I just get a little worked-up when people teach their kids to blindly believe everything they read. Sorry, I'll stop posting here.
'enry
Posted by hickory (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 5:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)
WOW!!!!!! I bet Ashley never thought such a small thing would raise so much controversy.
Posted by Steve_Corbin (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 5:55 p.m. (Suggest removal)
CONTROVERSY, OR CONTROSMIRSHY;
It's his job!
ole Hank likes to stir people up, (so do I), and they had a perfect start point with this cute little piece by Ashley Walker.
On the other hand I could see Ashley and Chris going over their pieces each week saying, "Will this start something good from the NUTS on the forums?"
Posted by YY4U (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 6:34 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I DISAGREE!!!
Posted by Steve_Corbin (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 7:33 p.m. (Suggest removal)
IS NOT!
Posted by chiefsfan (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 7:36 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I'm with you historian 1982!!! I enjoyed reading it, Ashley. Thanks!!
Posted by create (anonymous) on October 30, 2009 at 8:17 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Amazing what you get from a fish. Filets sauteed in garlic butter. Tempura with a very nice wasabi dipping sauce. Wonderful Ciopino topped with extra-virgin olive oil and a chiffonade of basil. Deep fried with a side of coleslaw and hush puppies. Jambalaya. Filet Gumbo.
Fish, glorious fish.
Posted by biscuitboy (anonymous) on October 31, 2009 at 2:54 p.m. (Suggest removal)
My argument is with the title of this thread--"to flush or not to flush." That issue is not nearly as important as the real question--"seat up or down?"
Posted by bookluver321 (anonymous) on November 3, 2009 at 12:42 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I for one actually believe that all animals have a soul and that they do go to heaven. One book that backs up my beliefs is Susi Pittman's latest book titled, "Animals in Heave? Catholics Want to Know!"
http://www.catholicstewardsofcreation.co...
Post a comment
We allow registered users to post comments on this Web site. Our goal with this feature is to encourage thoughtful discussions about the news stories. Using the comment feature to make random attacks on people is not acceptable. Emporiagazette.com neither endorses nor guarantees the accuracy of any user contribution. Responsibility for what is posted or contributed to this site is the sole responsibility of each user. To learn more about our posting policies please read our User Poster Agreement Policy.
(Requires free registration.)